Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and it takes all kinds of women, in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life to raise and care for a child regardless of whether or not the child was born of her own body.
I do not know the whereabouts of my biological mother or if she is even still of this earth, I do however, have a step mother. My step mom Ruth – whom I refer to as mom because she is, came into my life when I needed her most. I was half way to hell in a hand basket and she stepped in and said NOT ON MY WATCH, or words to that effect. To this day I don’t have enough gratitude in my being to properly thank her for all she gave me, and it had nothing to do with money! I too am a step mother and it’s a role I take very seriously and have since the day B and I were introduced some 14 years ago. She seemed so mature even back then, but to say I’m proud of the young woman she has become would be an understatement.
On 18 April 2018, the phone call we had long anticipated with dread came. The beautiful mother of my step daughter had finally succumbed to cancer after a decade plus battle with the insidious disease. L was only 54, far too young, and she leaves behind her daughter, partner, parents, brother, not to mention other extended family, cherished life long friends and business associates. It was clearly evident how well loved and liked L was by all the outpouring of emotions at her celebration of life. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry that day – I broke that promise.
A few years back we were all one big happy normal family, attending our niece’s wedding and L and I were enjoying a glass of wine, red of course (I got sober about three weeks later) and she thanked me for everything that I do for B, I was overwhelmed by the sentiment and sincerity with which she spoke and to this day it makes me cry (good tears) just thinking about that conversation.
To me, my role of step mom is now even more important, certainly not to take the place of L, because I couldn’t even if I wanted to, but to ensure that B knows that I will always answer her calls, her texts, no matter the time of day, and as I’ve told her repeatedly, I will ALWAYS have her back and be ready with an honest and truthful response to whatever she may ask, regardless of the fact she may not like the answer. She’s a beautiful young woman making her way in this world now without her closest ally and best friend, I just want her to know she’ll never be alone as her mother’s presence will always be with her and she will be forever loved.
So to all of you fearless women, who love, cherish, nurture, coach, mentor, lead, heal and discipline, and do it all without fanfare or limelight, thank you.
“To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power.” – Maya Angelou
Until next month and one more sober day.
Be well and be you!