I haven’t counted the number of days in quite some time but today is a special one. Today, August 1, 2017 is a celebration of my dedication and determination in achieving and maintaining 365 days of sobriety. There were more than a few days when my sober self salivated at the thought of enjoying a cool refreshing beverage, but the thought and cost of letting myself down far outweighed the nonexistent gratification I would get from a drink.
I did not hit rock bottom, or at least what one would imagine. I was however, sick and tired of being sick and tired and I wanted something better for my self. I drank everyday, and it was only the rarest of occasions when I didn’t have a glass of something – usually red wine in my hand. I come by my love affair with alcohol honestly; grandmother, father (54 years sober), mother and an aunt (25 years sober), so the only way I knew to get here from there was through sobriety.
My body has continued to change throughout this past year. I have lost 35 pounds, my skin is clear, as is my ability to focus and be present in the moment. No longer having to give thought as to where and when will my next drink come from is truly liberating. As is waking each morning with clarity and gratitude that was never present in the past. Thankfully with each passing day I think about alcohol less and less, and though I own my sobriety, it is not something I take for granted as it can be taken from me at any time should I choose to give it up.
As I move forward I know for certain that three drinks will always be too many and ten will never be enough. So for today my choice is none and I live knowing that today is better than yesterday and should I be blessed with a tomorrow, I will attempt to live the day with grace and dignity while remaining true to my sober self.